


In your arms (I will fear nothing)

by ColdPorridge22



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Crying Victor Nikiforov, Drama, Hand Jobs, Hurt Katsuki Yuuri, Hurt Yuuri, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Protective Victor, Romance, Social Media, Violence, protective skater squad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-14 21:55:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10544974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColdPorridge22/pseuds/ColdPorridge22
Summary: After the Grand Prix Final, Yuuri and Viktor are eager for the future. They haven't even planned it all out, but they're at least on the same page with their goals: gold medals, living together in St. Petersburg and a wedding, of course! Sure, they know it will be a lot of hard work (seeing as Yuuri's anxiety likes to ruin good things), but as long as they have each other, nothing can go wrong. Can't it?With the news of their engagement spreading, Viktor and Yuuri find that not everyone welcomes the changes. And some may secretly try to make sure the boys will not get their happily ever after. They don't really pay much attention to it at first - they're much too busy coaching, skating and being stupidly in love.But they will have to face reality when someone starts targeting Yuuri.# upped the rating for sexual content, later for violence





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

 

Their last days in Barcelona were bittersweet.

 

Yuuri honestly didn't want it to end. He never wanted to leave this city, the city where he and Victor had become engaged. He stared at the golden ring on his finger. The band gleamed prettily at him, unblemished. The realization shot through him - he'd wear this ring for the rest of his life. Until death do them part - and even after that, their bodies would decay over the years, but the gold rings would never deteriorate. It gave him a sense of peace, knowing that the bond he had with Viktor would forever be captured in this little object. No matter what would come their way, this was proof. Like their love, it would stand the test of time.

 

Now, maybe it would be rather naive to think this way. Yuuri was very aware of the fact that he was not at all experienced in the matter of relationships. He'd never been in one, after all. And this current relationship, his first one, had only started maybe two or three months ago. With his coach. Who had also been Yuuri's childhood and teenage obsession. He'd had a room full of posters of the guy, for goodness' sake.

 

He was aware that there was a slight chance he was just calling this true love because that's what he wanted with all his heart, ignoring the realities of actually _maintaining_ a relationship. He knew there was a good chance of him screwing up somewhere along the way - hell, if there was a Grand Prix of screwing up, Yuuri would probably have a nervous breakdown and flunk that too.

 

Still, above all else, he had _this_. These past few months with Viktor, all their time on the ice, all the kisses they'd shared. Their budding love, which Yuuri had been scared and shy about. This competition, this trip, had turned everything on its head and now they were engaged.

 

Yes. He'd always have Barcelona.

 

With a sad sigh, he let his eyes glide over the room one more time. The window sill, where Viktor had sat, where they'd had their first real argument - and where they'd resolved an argument for the first time. The beds - two singles, pushed together. They'd cuddled up on Yuuri's bed last night, Viktor's bed the night before.

 

His suitcase lay opened on the bed. He saw the glimmers of gold on blue. His outfit for the pair skating exhibition. His heart swelled up in his chest when he remembered that night. That had been... special was too dull a word for it. They'd made history on so many accounts that night. The first time a coach and a competitor, two men, had skated romantically together, to the song with which the coach had won last year's gold. Their song. It was their song now, Yuuri knew. Well, maybe it had been their song since Yuuri skated it by himself, all those months ago. And while they hadn't discussed anything about the wedding, it seemed like an unspoken agreement that Stammi Vicino would be their first dance.

 

Yuuri had wanted to make history on another account that night as well... After the exhibition he had every intention to cut the gala short and have another first with Viktor. But his own world record breaking performance and Viktor's announcement of his return had drawn and endless crowd of sponsors and journalists. By the time the evening drew to a close - no dance poles this time - Yuuri was almost falling asleep on his feet. The night after that Christophe dragged everyone out to a club, seeing as he'd been thoroughly dismayed at the lack of half naked dancing the previous night. Yuuri had kept his clothes on this time, but they'd all still had a great time. Just not the sort of great time Yuuri personally had had in mind.

 

And now... they needed to be on their way to Japan for Nationals. Yuuri set his plans out of his mind. Nationals needed to come first. He wouldn't embarrass himself like last year. He wouldn't embarrass Viktor that way.

 

His eyes danced across the room. They'd had so many shopping bags between them, that not everything fit into their luggage. Viktor would sweet-talk his way out of extra baggage charges at the Iberia Airways counter, Yuuri just knew it. Viktor didn't just have the gift of surprising people, he had the gift to let people surprise themselves. Make them do things they never would have expected of themselves. Yuuri certainly hadn't expected himself to set a world record, come within twelve hundredths of a point to win gold at the GPF _and_ become engaged to Viktor Nikiforov.

 

If someone had told him that in March of this year, when he returned home with his tail between his legs, a failure to the skating world and overweight to boot, how much would change before the year was out, Yuuri would have laughed in their faces. Or rather, he'd have politely said that there was no way, seeing as he was raised a polite boy. But had he said that, he'd have had to eat his words. Because of Viktor.

 

He knew he must finish packing. Viktor was due to return from his talk with Yakov any moment now and then they'd need to get a cab to the airport. Still, it was nice to stand here and reminisce. Viktor didn't leave much room for quiet reflection. He was the whirlwind, the silver haired tornado that dragged him into his next adventure, his next plan, his every whim.

 

Yuuri glanced at his phone. Well, apparently there wasn't even much time for reminiscing. He had to finish packing now. And Viktor had better hurry as well, he thought to himself as he pocketed his phone. He went around the room, tossing a pair of socks in Viktor's suitcase, then a shirt in his own. He managed to rescue a pair of underwear (those were definitely not his own, he thought with a blush) from under the bed and stuff two more shopping bags in their carry-on luggage.

 

As he rounded up all their toiletries from the bathroom, he heard the door open.

 

"Yuuri!" A voice sang as the door opened.

 

"In here!" He answered as he forced a tube of toothpaste into the last imaginable crevice of the overstuffed bag.

 

"Ah!" He saw a silver-haired head peek around the door, accompanied by a big grin. "Wow, you're almost done! Now I feel guilty for staying so long with Yakov!"

 

Yuuri smiled at him. "It's no problem. Did your talk go well? Or did he just chew you out?" He checked the bathroom once again and, finding no more personal belongings, hauled his bag out of there.

 

Viktor had thrown himself on the bed in a dramatic fashion, one hand over his eyes.

 

"He was so unfair! He was already drawing up practice schedules, Yuuri, you should have seen it! He wants me to train extra hours just because I haven't competed in nine months! I've still _skated_!" He bemoaned his fate. "And he wouldn't even - OOF!"

 

Yuuri had dropped his bag on Viktor's chest.

 

"No lazing about, we have to leave in 5. Talk and pack." He stood next to the bed with his arms crossed, raising an eyebrow at his boyfriend.

 

"My Yuuri is so cruel." Viktor sighed, but he pushed the bag off and got up all the same.

 

Together they razed around the room in record time, Viktor managing to squeeze another bag of new clothing into a space Yuuri didn't think possible. He'd really have to check whether Viktor's suitcase wasn't in fact the TARDIS, but that would have to wait until another time.

 

As the soft pink evening light bathed the room, they pulled on their coats and looked around a final time.

 

"I've been on many trips. Holidays and competitions." Viktor's voice was soft, and a little tight, to Yuuri's surprise. "But I'll never forget this one."

 

Yuuri looked at him and took his hand. It was warm and fit perfectly in his own. The cool metal of the wedding band was reassuring, a steady reminder of what they were to each other.

 

"Thank you." Yuuri said. Viktor turned to look at him. "For making it unforgettable."

 

Viktor smiled at him then. A real smile, not one for the outside world, but one from the heart and just for Yuuri. Yuuri let go of his hand and brought his hands up to Viktor's face. The setting sun illuminated them both, making Viktor's eyes so bright, his skin so soft and Yuuri's ring glinting. As he cradled his lover's face, he stroked his thumbs over those gorgeous cheekbones. He hadn't thought it possible, but those azure eyes melted before him, leaving Viktor looking so open, so vulnerable and so damn in love. It was the most beautiful thing Yuuri had ever seen.

 

Carefully, ever so carefully, he brought their mouths together. It was a chaste kiss, but Yuuri didn't want to ruin this moment. He pulled back, opening his eyes to drink in the image of Viktor in this room in Barcelona and he thought his heart would stop at any moment.

 

"I love you." He'd said the words before he'd consciously decided to, and for a moment he feared he'd ruined their moment. But Viktor's smile grew impossibly bright and without hesitation replied.

 

"I love you too."

 

That was the first time they'd ever said it. But both of them knew it was the right time. Barcelona was, after all, the city for making history. Yuuri couldn't wait to see what history they'd make in the future.

 

 

###

 

 

Cigarette smoke escaped around the small gaps around her yellowed teeth. She forced the stub into the overfilled tray, reminding herself for the thousandth time that she needed to empty the damn thing.

 

She wished she could open a window here. The place was blue from smoke. But the air conditioning was broken again and there was no way in hell she was opening the window while it was snowing and freezing. She was skinny, way too skinny to handle Japanese weather right now. Her boss had cut back her pay dramatically, leaving her just enough for food. But smoking left her more satisfied and well, that wasn't cheap here.

 

She pushed herself out of her chair. Two steps ahead was her bed. Damned tiny Japanese rental apartments. She couldn't wait until she could return to Russia. It wouldn't be long, her boss had said. Then again, he'd said that six months ago. And six months before that. She'd blown up on him when she'd heard those words again last week and just maybe she'd gotten through to him this time.

 

That dickhead thought she was his plaything, just because she hadn't done what he wanted. She'd wanted his job, made a play and lost. Still, it could've been worse. An overseas job in Tokyo was something that some people actually dreamed of. If she'd been more dangerous to him, he might've sent her to Siberia or something.

 

She hated her life. Just because she was young and unmarried, men like her boss thought they could toss her every which way. If a man had made a play for her boss' job, _he_ wouldn't have been sent to Tokyo to fill a stupid clerk's seat. Well, it wasn't her fault that she knew what she wanted and fought to get it. Fucking men.

 

She shimmied her way beneath the covers, not even bothering to change her clothes. She was already wearing pretty much everything she had. One hand wormed its way from beneath the blanket, grabbing the phone that had been hidden there. She unlocked it and let the bright light wash over her face.

 

Not all men were bad, she reckoned. In fact, there were a few she quite liked. And one that she might have already sought out, if she hadn't been so freaking strapped for cash. Her fingers tapped the familiar name into google and a second later, she was greeted by the winking face of Viktor Nikiforov.

 

Gods, he was gorgeous, she thought dreamily. A smile like that warmed her up more than any blanket could. The eternal bachelor. One day, when she was back in Russia, she would meet him. And he wouldn't be able to resist her.

 

She scrolled through the pictures. That Japanese man was popping up in half the pictures. She wasn't too worried, he was just a little project of Viktor's. Viktor would resume skating now that he'd had his fun, she was sure of it.

 

She frowned. Wait a minute. This Japanese man looked quite... familiar with Viktor. Too at ease. Too close to him to be just skater and coach. She clicked one of the pictures and she was led straight to a fan blog.

 

Her blood ran cold.

 

Did... did this headline say engaged? _Engaged_? Her Viktor? Rapid as fire her eyes flew over the text, her face paling more and more as she read on. Her Viktor wasn't just engaged. He was engaged... to a man. The Japanese man.

 

Her phone slid from her trembling fingers, the light casting a sickening glow over the furious expression on her face.

 

 

She wasn't going to stand for this.

 

 


	2. Nationals

Chapter 2

 

 

Osaka, Japan

 

 

"Yuuri! Smile!"

 

"Viktor, shouldn't we-"

 

_Flash_

 

Bright light exploded in his face, blinding him from the buildings at the Osaka skyline. Viktor was clearly in tourist mode, excitedly pointing out buildings and squares that seemed perfectly normal to Yuuri. He must've stopped them for selfies at least every hundred yards on the way to their hotel and Yuuri wasn't quite sure how Instagram hadn't spontaneously combusted yet. Not from excitement of the people who followed Viktor's account or anything, just by the sheer amount of gigabytes Viktor was uploading at record speed.

 

"Let's do one together now!" Within a second, Viktor had wrapped himself around his boyfriend, who was still rubbing his eyes to chase away the black spots the previous picture had let. As soon as Yuuri opened his eyes, he saw an extended arm, wrapped in expensive wool, and a cell phone in a gloved hand. He tried his best to smile before the next flash came.

 

"You don't even look happy in this one." Viktor admonished, swiping through his pictures with a frown. "You should be happy, Yuuri! We're in your home country and you're going to take gold at Nationals!"

 

Yuuri grabbed his arm, dragging him down the street to the location of their hotel and rink.

 

"I'm not going to win _anything_ if I don't actually get to the rink, you know." He muttered. He caught Viktor's puppy eyes from the corner of his eyes, but resolutely kept staring forward. He wasn't going to fall for that - not with Nationals around the corner.

 

His plan held up for about twenty steps and then -

 

"But _Yuuri_..." His boyfriend had stopped.

 

He kept walking. That whining tone could mean only one thing and that, in turn, meant that Yuuri had better ignore it. Once Viktor went on a sightseeing spree, there was no stopping him. Well, maybe a shopping spree could happen in the middle of the sightseeing spree and then there was no end in sight - even with Yuuri's legendary stamina, he'd be in no shape for competing. So, yes, Yuuri was going to stand his ground. Or, you know, walk.

 

Viktor caught up with him in a manner of seconds, wrapping an arm around his waist. They fell into step easily once Viktor surrendered and yielded his plan. Yuuri relished the arm around him, leaning into Viktor as much as he could. He wasn't feeling as carefree as the Russian was. Now, that was true most days of his life - their stress levels and nerves seemed to come from two opposite galaxies for Christ's sake - but today, he was feeling extra nervous. And the man next to him was feeling extra relaxed. It was a little maddening, actually.

 

"Why are you so nervous all of a sudden?" Viktor sounded genuinely puzzled. Like Nationals weren't at all a big deal. Compared to the Grand Prix Final, or Four Continents or World's, sure, it wasn't that big a deal, but... still a bit of a deal.

 

Yuuri shrugged. "Dunno." He muttered and averted his gaze. He wasn't completely sure why he was getting anxious, but then again, that wasn't entirely new to him. He'd had bouts of anxiety over the stupidest things               and while he was getting better at handling his nerves, that didn't mean that the black clouds of dread didn't visit him regularly.

 

Then Viktor laughed, a surprised bark of laughter as if he'd just realized something crazy. "You're not seriously worried about Nationals, are you? You're one of the best skaters in the world, and by far the best in Japan! You beat my record! You're going up against babies this time!"

 

"I bombed it last year." He couldn't look him in the eye while he said it. Even though he'd told Viktor this before, it still felt like a confession of a deep, dark sin.

 

Viktor stopped walking and this time, Yuuri stopped as well. A gloved hand at his chin gently coaxed Yuuri to meet the taller man's face. Their eyes met. Azure eyes were trained on him, willing him to explain.

 

"I just don't want to disappoint anyone." Yuuri whispered. His heart was fluttering nervously in his chest. "I did so terrible last year, but now... now the expectations are through the roof. I just won silver, and lost gold by a tiny margin... if I do badly now, it'll be ten times worse than last year."

 

Viktor's gaze never wavered, but his eyes did soften at that. The fingers at his chin moved up, stroking across his cheek, the motion so intimate that Yuuri almost forgot that they were in the middle of the street.

 

"I _know_ you. I know you and I'll never understand you. Not completely." Viktor said in a hushed tone. "But I don't think you understand you either."

 

The leather of his gloves left his cheek and soon, the pressure of an arm around his middle returned. Viktor continued walking and Yuuri had no choice but to fall in step.

 

"Sorry." He muttered.

 

"Don't say that." Viktor said sharply, tugging him closer to his side. "I said I _know_ you and I do mean that. I can't understand where your terrible self-esteem comes from, but I _know_ it's wrong and I _know_ how to prove you wrong. So that's what I'm going to do."

 

Yuuri blushed and huddled closer to his love. He wrapped an arm around his middle, returning the gesture. He looked down the long street, the sun setting in the distance, and he felt almost calm again.

 

He didn't know what on Earth he'd ever done in his life to deserve Viktor Nikiforov, but he was not going to question that one bit. Even if Yuuri couldn't believe in himself... well, he had always believed in Viktor.

 

 

###

 

 

Yuuri took it back. He hated Viktor.

 

"You've killed me." He moaned into the pillow. His feet were aching, and the burning in his thighs was only matched by the burning in his abs. Apparently it had been Viktor's plan to make Yuuri train so hard that he would burn off all of his nervous energy and take his mind off of the impending competition. It had worked tremendously well, because all Yuuri could think about now was a) how he would get revenge and b) how he would be able to get more sleep.

 

"Did you have a good sleep, then, lyubov moya?"

 

Yuuri cracked open an eye, peering over his shoulder at the grey-haired traitor nuzzling at his shoulder.

 

"I don't think I can move before the short program. You've worked me too hard." He growled.

 

"Oh?" More nuzzling. Viktor was worse than Makkachin sometimes, so cuddly and affectionate and -

 

Yuuri breathed out harshly from his nose. Viktor had found his neck. His nose traced a tendon, his lips following with the barest contact with the skin below them. It was hardly anything, but his warm breath on Yuuri's skin still made his heart stutter.

 

"Is this how you say sorry?" Yuuri was fighting every urge to lean back, give him more access. He couldn't - otherwise Viktor would never know how much he was aching right now.

 

He felt him smile, the curve of his lips right below his ear. "I'm not sorry, Yuuri."

 

His voice was rough and deep from sleep and a shiver shot down Yuuri's spine. Damn him - damn him thrice to hell. No, Yuuri Katsuki was not going to let this slide because he was thirstier than a fish stuck in the desert. He scooted away, putting some distance between them. He groaned when his muscles protested the movement.

 

"You made me jog all over the city. Then you had me practice in the rink for three hours _and_ you made me do crunches and squats after that. How was that effective? The short program is tomorrow night!" He whined. "I'm _sore_!"

 

"Then it was effective, was it not?" He could hear the laughter in the Russian's voice. A hand stroked over the duvet covering Yuuri's hip.

 

"I mean the desired effe- oh never mind, I don't know where to start with you."

 

Viktor laughed and with a final squeeze of his hand, he rolled away and got out of bed. Yuuri watched him saunter over to the bathroom. He was shirtless, the muscles rippling under his smooth, soft skin. His pajama bottoms rode low on his hips, tantalizingly close to giving him a peek at something more. Then he disappeared and the sound of water running could be heard.

 

Yuuri groaned and pressed his face into the pillow again. He'd seen Viktor naked before - hell, he'd seen him naked a lot more up close before. And he'd seen a lot of male full frontal nudity from growing up in an onsen. He'd fantasized about _more_ , more than non-sexual bathing, especially with Viktor. He should be happy, shouldn't he, now that they were engaged?

 

The problem was twofold, however. First off, the competition. It had been the first rule instilled when he joined the skating club in Detroit. Celestino had bluntly told him that no one in his club was allowed to have sex in the days leading up to a competition. Yuuri had almost choked on his drink when he had heard that and it had taken Phichit Chulanont hitting him on the back to save him from death-by-embarrassment. Incidentally, that had been how they'd become friends. Though Phichit would tell anyone who wanted to know that he'd introduced himself after he'd seen Yuuri do a badass triple axel. Phichit was a good friend like that. His Thai friend had also started the trend of calling Celestino Ciao-Ciao... because when off-season ended, it was Hello Celestino and bye-bye sex life.

 

The second reason was much more important than the first reason, mainly because the Japanese Nationals would be over in a couple of days and the first rule abated. No, the second reason was that Yuuri hadn't had a sex life... ever. Not under Celestino, not under Viktor and not... _under Viktor_ , so to say. His Thai friend may have balked at Ciao-Ciao's rule, but it was meaningless to Yuuri. At least, it had been meaningless until recently. He was painfully inexperienced. What was worse, if only half the stories on the fan blogs were true, Viktor was very experienced with men and women both. He had been the hottest bachelor around and Yuuri was certain that he had taken advantage of that. Not that he would blame Viktor if he had; why wouldn't he? He was a very sexual being, so of course he'd had some lovers at 27 years old. But Yuuri had had none.

 

Sometimes he thought Viktor had fallen for the wrong Yuuri. The Yuuri that had apparently stripped at the GPF Gala and matched Chris in flaunting public decency - and outmatched him on the pole. That Yuuri had been sex on legs, if the stories were to be believed. Yuuri wasn't that person. Yes, he'd come closer to losing some of his inhibitions because of his Eros performance, but it still felt like a persona. Yuuri was still dime-a-dozen Yuuri, boring, shy, prone to weight gain, hostage to anxiety. How on Earth was he going to keep Viktor interested? He didn't know the slightest thing about sex! He felt like a dog chasing cars - he didn't actually know what to do now that he caught one. And what if he was disappointing? What if Viktor needed more, what if he wasn't enough? His bar was probably set really high after all his experiences, how could Yuuri hope to even match that?

 

"Yuuri?"

 

Viktor's soft voice pulled him back from the brink. He'd zoned out a bit, staring blindly at the curtains. He blinked, returning his mind to the hotel room they were staying in.

 

"Hey." Viktor sank to his knees next to the bed and stroked his hair. Then, he pulled back the sheets and put one arm under Yuuri's knees, the other around his shoulder.

 

"Vikt- oh!" Yuuri yelped when he was hoisted into the air. He flung his arms around his love's neck, holding on as he was carried to the bathroom. "What are you doing!"

 

"I've drawn you a bath!" Viktor declared, setting Yuuri down next to it. "It'll be good for those poor muscles. And it'll help you relax so that I can give you a good deep tissue massage later."

 

Yuuri's mouth fell open. The bath was indeed full, smelling glorious of roses and steaming like an onsen in summer. "V-Viktor!" He didn't know what else to do, so he just hugged him tight.

 

"See, you were talking about the desired effect earlier... and I think I've done well as your coach. You've worked hard yesterday, so you don't have to do anything now. I can take care of you all day today. Tomorrow you'll feel amazing and you'll be amazing in the rink. I know it." A kiss to his temple accentuated the sentiment. "Now, come on, get it. This tub isn't big enough for the both of us, so at least one of us should enjoy it. What do you say?"

 

"I'd say you're doing very well." Yuuri smiled. "And not just as my coach."

 

Gods, he hoped he'd be worthy of Viktor one day.

 

 

###

 

 

They recognized the blonde and red hair immediately and Yuuri wasted no time walking over to Kenjiro Minami. Viktor watched him go, opting to hang back with their gear.

 

"Minami-kun!" Yuuri smiled. "Have you trained hard since we last skated together?"

 

The boy had no words, instead gaping at his hero. His friends and other competitors gathered around them and the dam burst.

 

"Kenjiro-kun, do you _know_ him?"

 

"Katsuki-senpai, you did so well in the Grand Prix Final!"

 

"Katsuki-san, can you teach me how to do a quadruple flip??"

 

"What is your theme for next year?"

 

Yuuri felt a little abashed, being surrounded by all these young skaters, but he answered their questions all the same and asked a few questions as well. Eventually, he did extract himself from the group to start his warm up.

 

A little dazed he returned to Viktor, who led him to a quiet place to do his stretching in peace.

 

"So?" Viktor asked. "Have fun?"

 

"Hmm..." Yuuri sat down on his mat and grabbed his ankles. "They're good kids. They work hard. It's a little weird that they're looking up to _me_ for inspiration."

 

"You're still not used to being the person to beat. I know that would stress you. But do you see how you can help others this way? By showing them what to chase? Let them be inspired. Inspire them."

 

"Yeah, I guess... but I don't know how you deal with it."

 

Viktor sat behind him, pushing down on Yuuri's shoulder blades so that he could bend a little further.

 

"I had a really loyal fan once. Had all sorts of posters of me in his room, like wall to wall. It's a good thing that he's very cute and that I want to marry him."

 

"Viktor!" Yuuri struggled to get upright, but the pressure on his shoulder blades did not abate. "Who told you about the posters!"

 

"Mari did." Viktor released him then and Yuuri shot up like he was launched from a catapult. His face was redder than a tomato and Viktor couldn't help but burst out in laughter. "I just want to know why you took them down! Are you not a fan anymore, Yuuri?" He teased.

 

"Can we not talk about this?" Yuuri begged.

 

The giggling continued, however. "We're engaged, Yuuri, we should be able to talk about anything."

 

"You're having way too much fun with this... what if I get so distracted that I slam my face into the rink side again? It still makes me cringe when I think back to that competition." Yuuri shuddered.

 

"Oh, don't be dramatic, of course you won't." He waved Yuuri's protests away. "You'll do brilliantly and you'll give those young boys something to chase. Just don't bring one of them home, even if they have a lot of posters of you on their wall, okay?"

 

"You're an idiot." Yuuri grumbled. But he couldn't really fight his smile either.

 

They warmed up for a little while longer, until the announcement came that the competitors needed to line up for the draw.

 

They left their secluded spot and went back to the hustle and bustle of the rink. There, the competitors were faced with the dreaded black bag which would determine their fate.

 

Yuuri drew first, just like last time. The nerves, his ever present companions, started to creep up on him. _What if you'll do bad? It'll be so shameful. So sad for Viktor..._ But the voices stopped when he saw Viktor approach with a big smile.

 

"Good!" He clapped his hands together. "That means you'll have a lot of free time to watch the other skaters! That is, if you don't slam your face into anything this time. Any blood in the rink and I'll make you do a hundred push-ups a day!"

 

Kenjiro Minami stood next to them and his mouth fell open at Viktor's rude remarks. Yuuri soothed the boy.

 

"Don't worry, he's just being inspirational. In his own special way. He makes me do like a hundred every day either way."

 

Then he took off his skate guards and entered the rink under raucous applause. The audience already loved him. His world-record breaking program had made headlines in Japan - and so had his engagement. He still didn't know how exactly that news made it all the way from Barcelona, but the fact that they'd all loudly discussed it in a restaurant in Barcelona may have had something to do with that.

 

Yuuri had been a little scared of how the news would be received, both in Russia and Japan.

 

The opening notes of Eros played and Yuuri threw his air-kiss at Viktor, who was standing by the rink side. No one could misconstrue what this meant. A kiss, not for show, not for the judges or the audience, but for his fiancé. The crowd went insane for it, cheering so loud that Yuuri could scarce hear the music.

 

His program was over before he knew it and he felt like the crowd hadn't stopped screaming once.

 

Yuuri wasn't sure why he'd ever been worried about Nationals. He hadn't messed up - like Viktor had promised he wouldn't. No nose bleeds, no hate, no backlash from his engagement to the world's most wanted bachelor...

 

He could feel that 2017 was going to be the best year ever.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would really appreciate some feedback! Thank you to the people who have commented or left kudos <3
> 
> As you can tell from this chapter, I don't want to focus solely on the storyline of Yuuri getting targeted. Of course that will become more and more important in the story as we draw closer to the end. But I want to write about the relationship between Yuuri and Viktor, about their own insecurities, their relationship to the whole skater squad... I hope I'm doing justice to their inner voices, please let me know if you feel someone is going OOC!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As if Yuuri doesn't have enough to deal with, facing his own anxiety, social media decides to step it up.

Chapter 3

 

 

Yuuri won Nationals with a thirty point margin on the other competitors. With a wide smile and a bow, he received his gold medal, the spectators' cheers filling the stadium. He glanced over to the side of the rink, where Viktor stood clapping, a half smile playing around his mouth. Of course he wasn't as emotional as he had been during the Grand Prix Final. Viktor had said it earlier - this time Yuuri had gone up against babies, so the win wasn't as impressive to him. Well, it was still a great relief to Yuuri. He wouldn't know what he'd done if he hadn't won - or won only by a small margin. Probably die of shame or something.

 

The medal ceremony concluded and Yuuri skated off, the weight of his gold medal heavy around his neck. Viktor welcomed him at the gate with a hug and a kiss on his cheek.

 

"I told you so." He said softly against his cheek, a finger prodding the medal on Yuuri's chest. No _congratulations_ , no _well done_. It was so typically Viktor that Yuuri couldn't help but smile.

 

"So you did." He muttered back. Then he turned his head and captured Viktor's lips in a soft kiss. People cat whistled and cheered all around them when Yuuri pulled back, but that wasn't what amused him. It was that Viktor's eyes were round with surprise. Yuuri himself wasn't so big in public displays of affection, being a shy and private person, but just sometimes he liked to counter the Russian's smug and cocky attitude with something that made him stop in his tracks.

 

"Guards?" He asked, holding out his hands for the skate guards. It took Viktor a second to cotton on, then he seemed to shake himself and he handed them over.

 

"Haven't you gotten bold." Viktor said dazedly.

 

He hadn't. But he could pretend he had.

 

 

###

 

 

Viktor was glued to his side the rest of the night, always touching his arm or sitting so close that their thighs touched. Minako and Mari joined up with them after all the press had left, but they weren't the only ones. The Nishigori's along with their triplets had come to watch the competition as well.

 

"Yuuri, is it true that you're engaged?"

 

"Can we organize the wedding?

 

"Are you going to have babies now?"

 

"GIRLS!" Yuuko screeched at her three daughters. "Don't be so rude! Oh, I'm sorry, Yuuri, you know how they are!" She apologized.

 

"It's fine." Yuuri said awkwardly, rubbing his hand on the back of his head. He looked around the hall, hoping to whatever deity above that there had been no reporters or crazy fans around. Luckily, no one seemed to pay them much mind.

 

"So...?"

 

Axel, Loop and Lutz were staring at them in their uncanny resemblance to cats fixated on prey. It made Yuuri's stomach flutter wildly. The wedding, _babies_? They hadn't even really discussed the wedding, let alone whether they'd want children or not. And these three little girls just waltzed in with their questions about deep and personal issues, as if Yuuri had it all figured out.

 

Minako sensed his tension and cut in.

 

"Let's all walk back to the hotel!" She said, dragging Yuuri away from a slightly affronted looking Viktor, who had not consented to be parted from his fiancé. Minako frog-marched ahead, putting quite a bit of distance between the two of them and the rest of the group.

 

"Minako-sensei! What's the matter?" Yuuri squawked, nearly tripping over his feet as he hurried to keep up with her.

 

"Not here." She said, looking around when they exited the building and entered the street.

 

It wasn't busy, as most people had left a while ago. They hadn't been able to leave earlier, seeing as the triplets hadn't been willing to step foot outside until they'd seen every inch of the backstage area that was normally only open to skaters and coaches. The street was nearly deserted.

 

Minako shot a sideways glance at him, then over her shoulder to see if they were out of earshot.

 

"Have you looked at social media at all since the medal ceremony?"

 

"Er... no? Minako, that was just a few hours ago, I haven't even had  a chance to look at my phone!" Yuuri frowned. When the teacher hummed, but didn't elaborate, he prodded. "Why? What's on social media?"

 

"You kissed Viktor."

 

Yuuri flushed bright red. "Just a little one! He's my fiancé after all." He said defensively.

 

"I know, I know! But it was on camera. And it went viral."

 

"Viral?" Yuuri squeaked. Why in the hell had that gone viral?

 

"Mostly it's really nice what people are saying! It's just that there's a group of people on social media that... Yuuri, they're saying really harsh things." She took his hand and looked at him. "Don't believe them, okay? Whatever you do, believe in yourself and believe in Viktor. They're just idiot trolls behind a computer who don't know love if it kicked them in the teeth."

 

Yuuri nodded solemnly. He'd expected some hate. There had been hateful comments last year. When he flunked the Grand Prix Final. When he bombed Nationals. When Viktor started coaching him. He'd received some negativity then and quite frankly, he thought he'd earned it. In fact, he'd thought exactly the same. People had commented how on Earth Viktor could have chosen such a loser, such a fat embarrassment and Yuuri had silently agreed.

 

That was last year. This year he'd done quite well. This year he was almost happy with how he'd done.

 

"It'll be fine, Minako. It can't be as bad as last year." He waved her off. "It's just sad that people can't be happy for me. Or for Viktor."

 

"You're taking this surprisingly well." Minako said suspiciously. "Wait a minute..." Her eyes went wide and she stopped in her tracks. "Have you and Viktor...?"

 

"Minako-sensei!" Yuuri hissed. He looked around quickly, but no one had heard her. He tugged on her arm and they started walking again. "We haven't... you know. Because we were in the middle of the season."

 

"And now?" She asked with a twinkle in her eyes. "It's almost two more months until Four Continents. Plenty of time, I'd say."

 

Blood rushed to his cheeks at her inquiries. "I'm not - I..." He stammered.

 

"Don't you want to?"

 

"Well, I guess, but-"

 

"You _guess_?" Minako gawked at him. "People would kill to be in your shoes! You have Viktor freaking Nikiforov all to yourself and I know _he_ wants to. Not just a little bit. You could snap your fingers and his pants would be off before you can say quadruple flip. What's wrong with you!"

 

Yuuri looked back. Viktor was animatedly chatting with the triplets, no doubt sharing the latest skating gossip. He looked so happy, a thousand watt smile on his face, those little crinkles at the top of his nose when he laughed heartily. He fell in love all over again.

 

"I'm luckier than I deserve." He muttered. "I'm just nervous, okay?"

 

Minako smiled at that. "Oh don't worry. You'll do fine. I think Viktor will enjoy himself, because he just loves being with you."

 

Yuuri smiled tersely, but didn't reply. He doubted it would be as easy as his ballet teacher made it seem, but then again, he didn't have the slightest clue.

 

 

###

 

 

Yuuri was still deep in thought when he closed the door of the hotel room behind them. The rest of their little group had decided to drive back to Hasetsu, but Viktor had wanted to stay another day so he and Yuuri could spend his birthday exploring Osaka - and that probably meant shopping.

 

"What are you thinking about?" His Russian accent was heavy - a sign that Yuuri had learned meant that  Viktor was winding down for the night. He glanced up at Viktor, who was sitting on the bed and in the process of taking off his shoes.

 

 _This is it_. Yuuri steeled himself. _Time to be brave, Yuuri_.

 

Locking their eyes, he let his bag slide to the ground and started unbuttoning his coat. He hung it up, but never once let his eyes wander. Then he toed off his shoes and reached for the hem of his shirt. Viktor's eyes widened at Yuuri's deliberate motions.

 

He hesitated at his shirt, nervously playing with the cotton. He broke eye contact and looked at the floor.

 

Viktor stood up and walked over to him. Yuuri thought his heart must be audible from across the room, it was fluttering so madly. His mouth was dry and he forced himself to look up again, find that eye contact.

 

In a few long legged strides, Viktor was standing in front of him. Big hands joined Yuuri's at his shirt and together, they lifted it over his head. Goose bumps broke out all over his arms, but he wasn't sure whether that was due to the chilled air or something else entirely. To distract himself, he moved to Viktor's tie, pulling on it with nervous fingers.

 

The damn thing wouldn't budge. He plucked at it and it wouldn't go either way.

 

 _Great, very sexy. Very seductive._ Yuuri scolded himself bitterly. _Can't even take a freaking tie off._

 

Viktor's hand came up and in a fluent movement, the tie slithered through his fingers like a snake made of water. That just made him feel even more incompetent. His hands stilled. He didn't know what to do now. He felt off-kilter and incredibly uncomfortable.

 

Fingers under his chin tilted his head up, making him face his silver haired love. Eyes of sea and sky searched his for a moment and Yuuri held still, dreading what he might find.

 

_He'll find out how bad I am at this. Then he'll leave._

 

But Viktor didn't leave. Instead, he brought his lips down, the lightest brush of their mouths at first. Chaste pecks, hardly anything, but they calmed Yuuri down. Kissing he could do. Kissing he'd gotten good at.

 

Viktor buttoned down his shirt himself, divesting it easily so that they were both bare-chested. Yuuri couldn't help but look. The wide expanse of chest, the corded muscles of his biceps, his abs... Like hewn from marble, he stood there, inviting Yuuri to touch and taste and explore.

 

Yuuri tried to convince himself his hand wasn't shaking when he laid it across Viktor's heart. My god, he was so warm, like a furnace under cool exterior. His skin was soft and smooth, perfect in every way. How - how on Earth did this beautiful creature want him? But on his own right hand, splayed over those pectoral muscles, was still a golden ring that told him the truth.

 

Shivers shot down his spine when he felt fingertips running down his arms, then trailing up his back. He stepped in closer, bringing their mouths together once more. This time, the kiss was anything but chaste. He deepened it, humming in happiness when Viktor's lips opened to him and their tongues met. Hands continued wandering, roaming over whatever skin they could find.

 

In another bout of bravery, Yuuri found the button at the top of Viktor's pants. Viktor wasted no time in reciprocating, undoing the smaller man's trousers before Yuuri had even properly decided he really wanted them off. But Viktor was excited. That was apparent. _Very_ apparent.

 

He found himself getting swept up in the heat of the moment. His nerves were still there - hell, they were ever-present and skittering through his arteries at that very moment - but there was also excitement there, that helped him act instead of freeze.

 

When he felt Viktor's fingers curl around him, he almost immediately flew over the edge. He'd never experience someone _else_ down there, touching him so privately. It felt dangerous, leaving himself so vulnerable, literally in someone else's hands. It was incredibly intimate and exciting.

 

In order to distract himself, he went to search for his own prize. And it definitely wasn't difficult to find. The size of him felt strange in Yuuri's hand, bigger than he was used to. Heavy and rigid. His mouth went dry at the sight and for a moment, he had no clue what to do with it. Then Viktor's hand closed over his and guided him, making the same fluid movements as his other hand was doing to Yuuri. Up - squeeze - down. Sometimes the smallest turn of the wrist. They were both groaning softly and Yuuri felt the passion stream through him like magma under his skin.

 

Yuuri made a mistake then. He looked up at Viktor's face, into eyes that were hooded with lust. To see that, and too feel what they were doing to each other - Yuuri was finished before he could even warn Viktor to slow down. His release came over him like a bolt of lightning on a bright sunny day, striking so suddenly that he forgot to breathe.

 

"Oh!" He gasped, stilling in Viktor's arms. When the realization of the event came over him, he turned bright red. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He chanted, wishing the ground would swallow him up.

 

For a split second, Viktor looked surprised, but then he said. "It's okay, don't worry about it." Then he resumed their combined motions on Viktor, giving Yuuri a good opportunity to focus completely on that in the hopes of forgetting his own speedy finish.

 

Viktor took a couple of minutes longer, but before long he let out a strangled groan and came over their hands.

 

They washed up together afterwards.

 

"This was your first time being intimate, wasn't it?" Viktor asked.

 

Wordlessly he nodded. _Was it so obvious?_ Guilt twisted in his gut. What should he do? Apologize again? Wouldn't that just make it more awkward? So he just averted his eyes and turned to exit the bathroom. But before he could leave, Viktor had grabbed his arm.

 

"You know this is not a big deal, right? Not to me." He said softly, a serious look on his face. "There is no right or wrong here. There's no presentation scores. I just want you to be comfortable with me."

 

Yuuri's frown softened, a smile forming on his face. "Thank you." He said. "I'm just not good at this."

 

"No." Viktor said sternly, pulling him closer until they embraced. "You're new at this. There's a difference."

 

 

###

 

 

Later that night, when Viktor was snoring softly beside him, shame still prickled sharply at the back of his throat, burning like a punishment. Minako's words drifted through his mind. That he'd do fine. Well, they hadn't even made it to sex, thanks to Yuuri. Other words Minako had said now presented themselves: _what is wrong with you?_

 

He stared at the ceiling, his eyes already so accustomed to the darkness that he made out the details without problems. What indeed was wrong with him? Was he just so nervous that he kept screwing himself over? That certainly wouldn't be a new theme to his life.

 

He grabbed his phone, wondering idly how much time he still had to sleep. He doubted he even would fall asleep soon, but still... The glare of his phone made him scrunch his eyes closed for a second, but he got used to it quickly. 3:01 AM.

 

He opened his social media. He'd done well at Nationals, maybe some kind words would cheer him up and keep him from the darkness that was his anxiety.

 

There were lots of comments and congratulations, from friends and family and strangers alike. Some praised his footwork, his quads or his spins, others delighted in the sweet kiss he'd given Viktor.

 

But then he noticed others. Other less enthusiastic comments. His stomach turned when he stumbled upon the first one.

 

_@skate4me Wait, are we supposed to be happy that he didn't fuck up? Lackluster performance, clearly had his mind on other things_

 

Geez... unkind.

 

_@ viktorsgirl He'd better not mess with Viktor's performance._

 

_@doyouevenflipbro Wow, he must be really good at sucking cock to make Viktor try and skate and coach at the same time. Really Viktor, he's not worth it. Just do what you do best and skate. And Katsuki can do what he does best and suck me._

 

Shame flooded him again. If only they knew... he couldn't even be good for Viktor in a sexual way. He didn't even have that redeeming quality.

 

_@viktorsgirl Guess we can see how well this skate/coach thing of Viktor's will pan out... the second Katsuki doesn't get enough attention, he'll turn to food. God I wish VN would just drop that deadweight and focus on himself._

 

_@katsukisux Seriously, that guy? Mediocre looking at best... if he hasn't stuffed his face or gets a panic attack. Viktor can do so much better! He deserves someone who can be there for him, not someone who needs a pat on the head every twelve seconds._

He felt nauseated. There were more negative comments than he'd anticipated. Much more... he had a feeling that there hadn't been this many last year. Then again, last year he didn't have as much to lose as this year. Last year he didn't have Viktor...

 

_@ viktorsgirl Alright, he had his moment in the sun, hurray, well done, now get off the stage. We all know it's a matter of time before he cracks again. Hope he breaks this time._

 

Viktorsgirl... he scrolled through a few more comments and saw her name pop up again and again. His stomach turned when he read the messages. They _hated_ him. Especially this one girl.

 

Tears burned behind his eyes, but he willed them away. _No_. No, he'd done well at Nationals. He'd overcome his weight problem last year, and his skating blunders, and he'd overcome his embarrassment with Viktor and learn how to be good for him. As his student and as his lover. He just needed time. And he definitely didn't need some strangers on the internet pointing out his every failure and pitfall. No matter how right he feared they might be...

 

Disgusted with these strangers, he closed the app and threw his phone across the room. With a thud, it landed on his suitcase. He buried himself under the blankets, wishing that the whole world would just disappear for a while.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews are life! Hope you guys enjoy.


	4. Family

Chapter 4

 

Hasetsu was quiet as they walked through it. They'd had a long journey from Osaka, where they'd spent most of Viktor's birthday and when they finally exited the train in the sleepy seaside town, it was already getting dark.

 

"I've missed this place." Viktor turned his face to the breeze, inhaling the salty smell of the ocean deeply.

 

Yuuri glanced at the trees waving gently in the wind, looking black on a midnight blue canvas now that the sun had sunk beneath the horizon. "I've missed it, too." He realized. And even stranger, he'd missed it more now than when he'd lived in Detroit. Maybe it felt even more like home now that he had Viktor by his side.

 

"How do you think your parents will react?"

 

When Yuuri shot him a questioning look, Viktor clarified his point by stroking a finger over the ring on Yuuri's hand.

 

"Oh. Well, I did tell them over the phone. They seemed okay with it. Mostly just very surprised, so they didn't really say a whole lot." He hadn't given it much thought, with everything that had been going on with the competitions. "I think they just need to get used to the idea that you're going to be a part of the family now."

 

Viktor's eyes widened. "Family?" Then he looked away in thought. "I hadn't thought about it like that. I guess I'm not only marrying you, am I?" He said softly.

 

"Nope. The whole clan." Yuuri smiled, but Viktor seemed lost in thought.

 

Viktor would marry into the Katsuki family, and he would become a son-in-law and a brother-in-law. Nor was Yuuri just marrying Viktor - he was going to be a part of the Nikiforov family. The idea made a thousand questions burn on his tongue, but he held them. Viktor had always been tight-lipped about his family. Yuuri relied on his teenage stalker days for most information he had on the topic - which wasn't a whole lot. He only knew that Viktor's father had died when he was very young, but that was it. He didn't _think_ Viktor had siblings - he'd never mentioned any. But he'd also never really talked about his mother. Was Yuuri going to be a brother-in-law? A son-in-law? The realization that he didn't know the answer to those questions threw him off a little.

 

Yuuri studied Viktor's face as they neared the onsen. His eyes were distant, unreadable. Family wasn't a topic they often expanded on.

 

"They love you, you know that, right?"

 

He was surprised to see that the smile Viktor gave him was a little watery. The idea that Viktor would actually worry whether someone would like him was ridiculous in Yuuri's mind. It made his heart clench to see his love like this.

 

Yuuri walked closer after that, intertwining their fingers. Viktor didn't talk the whole way back.

 

Yutopia's lights were on, bathing the building in a glow that shrieked _home_ to them. With the rest of the town dim, it shimmered like a beacon, beckoning them with the promise of life and laughter and love. Yuuri's heart skipped when he noticed Viktor increasing his pace, as if he couldn't wait to be a part of that.

 

When they entered, no one was in the main reception area. They exchanged questioning glances, wondering why the area was deserted. It did smell like someone had been cooking something delicious. Curiosity rising, they took off their shoes and left their luggage to the side.

 

Viktor led the way, following his nose to the source of that delightful aroma. Yuuri was hot on his heels, his stomach growling with anticipation. They walked through to the dining room and -

 

"SURPRISE!"

 

The inn was filled to the brim, the people there welcoming them home with unprecedented gusto. As soon as Viktor and Yuuri stepped in, applause broke out and people called their names and raised their glasses of beer and cups of sake. Various shouts of 'congratulations!', 'happy birthday', 'kampai!' and laughter filled the hall.

 

"Happy birthday Viktor!" A large banner at the opposite wall read, balloons and streamers strewn all around it.

 

Viktor stood as still as a sculpture, mouth hanging open in shock. His eyes darted over the happy faces (some familiar, some not) and the decorations, but he didn't seem able to comment. Yuuri wrapped his arm around him from behind.

 

"Happy birthday, Viktor."

 

That made him turn around.

 

"Did... did you plan this?" His voice was wavering slightly.

 

Yuuri shook his head. "I'm just as surprised as you are. But I love that they did this."

 

"I love it, too." The Russian said dazedly.

 

" Vicchan!" Hiroko bustled over to them, catching the taller man in a flying hug that almost crushed his bones. "Welcome to the family! And happy birthday!" Then she turned to Yuuri and squeezed him halfway to heaven. "Congratulations, sweetheart. With the medals and with Viktor!"

 

Yuuri's father pulled Viktor into a hug as well. "You call me Dad now!" And Viktor could only nod stupidly to agree to his demand. If the glittering of his eyes was anything to go by, he probably didn't trust himself to speak at that moment.

 

A giant brown ball of fluff stormed towards them then, providing them with a light-hearted distraction.

 

"Makka~!" Viktor crowed in delight, immediately dropping to his knees and engulfing the dog in a hug. "Have you been a good girl, my little angel?"

 

Makkachin didn't reply, only slobbered enthusiastically all over Viktor's coat.

 

Hiroko ushered them to a table, laden with Yutopia's best dishes, including pork cutlet bowls. "It's so good to have you back! Sorry we couldn't come to Nationals, it's been just so busy here!"

 

"I can see!" Yuuri said, now receiving a warm welcome from Makkachin, who didn't seem sure whether she'd better curl up to the boy or run circles around his legs. Instead, she did a mixture between the two that resulted in Yuuri nearly being bowled over. He grabbed Viktor's arm so as not to topple over and land face first in the katsudon.

 

"It's been so busy we had to convert Viktor's room into a guest room! But you don't mind, do you? I mean, now that you're engaged?"

 

Yuuri stopped at his mother's words, gaping at her in surprise. "Y-you what? I mean, no! Of course we don't mind!" He stammered, his face crimson. He cringed at how casually his mother had brought that up.

 

Viktor appeared to be past his emotional state, his eyes now dry and a big grin washing over his features.

 

"Oh, that is great! I was wondering which room we'd use! Well, it won't even be for a very long time - my coach has set me up on a tight training schedule. He wants me to start January 1st."

 

"That soon! That's only a couple of days!" Hiroko exclaimed. "Well then you'd better enjoy yourselves as much as you can while you're here! I made katsudon, seeing as Yuuri won Nationals."

 

They didn't need to be told twice and dug in. Twin groans of happiness escaped them both when the taste of that heavenly food exploded in their mouths. After a long day - hell, after a long season - it really hit the spot.

 

Dinner lasted until well into the night, family and friends lounging around the table and catching up with each other. They talked about skating, about the wedding (Hiroko recommended a summer wedding on the beach, while Toshiya preferred autumn), about anything that crossed their minds.

 

Yuuri felt warm and cozy, surrounded by the people he loved. He could tell that Viktor was having a good time as well, letting himself relax and enjoying himself. It felt good. He'd been low-key worried about his parents' reaction to the engagement, but the way they were all together now made it feel like he'd already gotten married.

 

 

###

 

 

He woke when he felt Viktor moving behind him and for a moment he didn't know exactly where he was. He felt heavy with sleep, his brain sluggish at first. Then the memories of the previous night returned. He was home, in Hasetsu. They were both sleeping in his bedroom because Viktor's old room had to be converted to a guest room.

 

That was good, Yuuri thought. It eliminated the awkward questions why one of their beds wouldn't have been slept in. No matter how uncomfortable Yuuri was with intimacy, he still wouldn't trade it for the loneliness of sleeping in separate beds.

 

He just lay there, the presence of his love right beside him washing over him like a warm bath. Maybe, if they were really quiet, they could try and become a little intimate again. It still scared him and filled him with anxiety, but on the other hand he really wanted to learn to be good for Viktor.

 

A sniffle behind him made him pause. Was Viktor coming down with a flu? That would be inconvenient, because - another sniffle. That made him freeze.

 

Slowly he turned around, though as soon as Viktor noticed that, he rolled over to his side, facing away from him.

 

"Hey." Yuuri whispered and sat up. He stroked a finger over the older man's cheek. He didn't react. Yuuri didn't stop his reassurance.

 

A single tear escaped, trailing down from under the silvery bangs. Yuuri's heart clenched painfully and he wiped it away. He huddled closer, pressing his bare chest against the bare shoulder blades before him and wrapping an arm around Viktor's muscular torso to hold him close.

 

Yuuri wasn't sure what to do. He had no clue why Viktor was sad all of a sudden. Last night had been so much fun for everyone. Then why was he crying?

 

It took Viktor a good while before he could speak, and even then he wouldn't face Yuuri.

 

"My father died when I was four." His voice was hoarse and barely audible, even in the silence of Yuuri's room. "My mother turned to alcohol."

 

The words didn't immediately make sense to Yuuri, but when they landed, his stomach turned. He pulled Viktor closer to his chest. "I'm sorry. I didn't know." He whispered.

 

Viktor shook his head. "No, no, you couldn't have known. Only Yakov knows. I was too ashamed." Then he fell silent again.

 

Yuuri wanted to ask so many questions, but at that moment he didn't know a single thing to say. His stomach was churning with... he didn't even know what. Anger, sadness?

 

"She tried, she really did." Viktor continued softly. "But it was too much for her. Her addiction was a sickness. A curse, that turned her into something she was not. She could become so angry. At my father, at me. Because she was stuck caring for a child, all by herself. She didn't have a life anymore. And I left home as soon as I could because I couldn't take it. She hated me for that. She'd given up everything for me and I couldn't wait to throw it away."

 

Finally, he turned around, facing Yuuri. His eyes were wet and the pain in them took Yuuri's breath away.

 

"I know she tried what she could." He said, but the waver in his voice made him seem uncertain of that. "But she couldn't give me family. You've given me family, Yuuri." More tears spilled over, this time also from Yuuri's eyes. "And I'm so happy now. But it makes me realize how much I've missed."

 

Yuuri was crying openly now. He hadn't known.  He hadn't even seen that Viktor was hurting and it made him feel incredibly self-centered. All this time they'd skirted around the issue of family and Viktor had had to carry that weight all by himself.

 

No more. Yuuri held onto Viktor, hugging him so close that he hoped he could heal him, and didn't let go.

 

 

###

 

 

Their last days in Hasetsu passed like a dream. Viktor's revelation opened Yuuri's eyes like nothing else had. It brought them closer together in a way that neither of them had really anticipated. Yuuri had had him on a pedestal before, even if they had been getting along fantastically. There had still been that mental distance between them, because Yuuri had seen Viktor as perfect, nigh-untouchable. But when that old wound had opened, raw and hurting Viktor so deeply, Yuuri felt like he had stepped up to the plate. He couldn't be passive and look to Viktor to solve their problems.

 

They were equals. Partners. Viktor could be hurt and had been hurt, and that meant that Yuuri needed to be there for him.

 

They were in this together.

 

 

###

 

 

The new year approached rapidly. One moment they were talking and laughing in the hot springs, the next they were toasting and sharing a kiss as the countdown reached zero and before they knew it, they kissed again at Fukuoka Airport.

 

"I'll come as soon as my visa comes through." Yuuri muttered against the soft lips for the hundredth time. "I'll be in Russia before you know it."

 

Viktor didn't reply, instead held him close and kissed him like it would be the very last time.

 

 

###

 

 

January 2nd. Russian embassy, Tokyo.

 

 

"Sir. You didn't fill out the form correctly." A pen tapped a line on the fourth page. "How long will you be staying?"

 

Yuuri shrugged uncomfortably. "I didn't know what to put there. We haven't really planned much beyond this year. We might move again next season. Can't you make it an open-end visa?"

 

Pale eyes studied him lethargically. Then the woman shuffled through a drawer and fished out yet another form.

 

"For indefinite stays, you need to fill out this form. You'll need to submit the address where you'll be staying and the name of the primary resident." She said flatly.

 

Yuuri bowed over the new form dutifully, pulling up Viktor's information on his phone and copying it meticulously.

 

The clerk's eyes shot up as she saw the name he put down.

 

"N-Nikiforov?" She stammered, all lethargy vanished and replaced with a nervous energy.

 

"Yeah." The Japanese man said, a proud smile taking over his face. "Do you know him?"

 

"Yes. Yes, I certainly do." The woman smiled broadly, baring her wide set yellowed teeth. She held out her hand.

 

"Now then, Mr. Katsuki. I'm going to need your passport."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and Viktor are growing closer, maturing in their relationship. They're going to need it.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who's commented! I can't tell you how much that brightens up my day. Would love it if you dropped me a note! Hope you're liking it so far!


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